Shattered Glass Life After Abuse

I don't succeed in the long-haul at anything. I am a continual failure. Can you relate? Looking In I can see how Broken I am Oh, don't we all love the sayings about how nice it is to fail because that is the only way you will ever succeed; Or it is ok to fail as long as you fail forward; Or it doesn't matter how many times you fail as long as you keep trying to succeed? Well, can it not also be true that some people do not EVER succeed? So those cute little sayings about you might as well try because if you never fail you will never have a chance to succeed, can really get old. Especially when you have not had much success in life. Do you ever feel that way? So what have I done: I graduated high school, but amazingly so did everyone in my high school class. It was just what you did; you finished; you graduated. I went to college to be a psychologist. I was going to go to school for 8 years. But, ended up getting married after 3. So, I then went to school...

Mama, naturally. A child loves his mom, connected as one from conception in her womb. by bailey--elizabeth on deviantART Birth pangs, naturally, Discorded at birth, No pulsing between, Empathetic Or flatline. Children, naturally, Completely depend On mama for needs, Hopefully A bond builds. Parents, naturally, Are beloved, it's said. The childhood window Closes quickly. Locus food. Regrets, naturally, Eat away her peace. Could have been's haunt. A mother's heart Never stops. Loving, hoping, trying. Even unrequited. Her longing remains, For her child's love Until she dies.

Tears are filling up my eyes, It's been awhile since I've cried. The warmth of salty fluid flows, From the pain within my soul. Broken dreams of love we hold, Choosing sin -its goods are sold. See me crying in the night, A cold dark chamber blurs my sight. Stripped of envy and disgrace, He walked into the wicked place. Making choices everyday, Is how the game of life is played. See the sucker at the bar, See the midnight falling star. Twinkle, twinkle lost its light, Darkness flexed his muscles' might. Lucifer laughs when we cry, He taunts the sinner til he wants to die. God send Angels to my son, Protect him til fool's hill is done. Dazzling worldly wanton ways Entices many foolish slaves. Freedom to live by your grace. Answer his call when he prays. Draw him to Your perfect peace, Humble crying on his knees. Mama loves him evermore, Forever sings the childhood lore.

Motherhood is a blessing - a gift from God, but it is also a very difficult job - particularly for woman who are adult survivors of child abuse. Great thoughts don't always become great reality. Often what I see in my head as being something sweet, meaningful and appropriate crumbs into a struggle, hurt feelings, offenses and never-gonna-happens. I can not tell you how many times this scenario has repeated that past 20 years. It still never gets easy to be part of this two-step dance that is more like a tug-of-wills. A heart slashing - never what it was intended to be - occurs. This poem was birthed out of such a time as this. Phone is ringing in my ears, My heart pounds, message clear. Why are people not listening, To the words - what they mean. I try talking to my child, It'll be good, I decide. But it blows up in my face Homemade cocktail Burns the place. I only longed to talk it out, Think about, what was said, I listened to the voice I heard Sympa...