Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Piles and Piles of Writings

I am trying to clean my room today ... the piles on the floor... surrounding my bed.

Piles are in other places but today I turned my focus to my bedroom and there I found a problem.

I have been doing extremely well lately at accomplishing tasks... beginning, working through them and completing! What a new delight.

But today I am tugging through the mud of paper goods.

I see bits and pieces of my life... my thoughts like scribbles here and there. My mind is over active. Words keep pouring out and on the pages I find... typed beginnings of books, of articles, of journeys I have been compelled to begin...

I notice a pattern of a lot of incompletions.

My mind buzzes with new thoughts, ideas, impulses. While I start off running, rapidly getting done or said what I feel at that moment to be monumental, I observe life cuts in and "it" is lost.

Darwin went to an island to write. So did John to write Revelation, the final book of the Bible.

I have a writer's mind. The creative type that keeps pouring out words, a faucet open that seldom stops.

Every drip is not important but if the drips are closed up the pressure builds inside my head and I can do little else.

Thus, this is being written because I had to stop sorting books, magazines, papers and all miscellaneous notebooks for writing.

Help I have too many interests.

I live a life of many people not simply one.

I am not focused. I love everything. Life is so interesting to me... little flying insects, birds, clouds, flowers, art, people, clothes, houses, buildings, wind, water, talking, and then there is topics of religion, politics, ministry, healing, churches, the poor, gardening, cooking...

it is endless...college, parenting, friendship, work, travel....

Sometimes my eyes hurt because I look and read too much. I am tired and need to rest. My mind is too rapid. I am talking before I can think. I am tired.

And then I want to sleep. To snuggle up in the covers. But I also don't want to waste so much time in the day. Oh, help me. I am so confused. I am twirling... and cleaning my room had tossed me over into this rattled state.

If only I didn't suffer from these road blocks. I feel sick. My head hurts. It is spinning. I feel nauseated.

Oh, God help me. I am falling... falling... falling... but never reach the bottom.

Thank God if you never feel like this. Just thank God.

Of course, I will survive. I always do, but we life life in the middle of the process not in the observation or in the recollection. Once again my bedroom is covered needing help... maybe I will start tomorrow. :D

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