Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Edward Scissor Hand turns Evil

I feel like a screaming yell cutting people up freak - the only person who came to mind was Edward Scissorhand, not that I am at all like him in his artistic delight or compassion for I am a vile, cursing, bitter, yelling wild women that happens to have quickly moving scissors poking out of every part of my body and mind.

I just finished doing a video to upload but once again as everything else that is going on in my life today it FAILED!

Thanks YouCam...where can I get a program that will work?

After calling my husband and telling him the sky and every else if falling down...oh, boy the way, I hope you can have a nice lunch....

I am so frustrated and tired. No matter what I do it doesn't work and in most if not all I am seen by  my lovely teens as the problem to all things....

Where do I start, where do I end? Does it really matter...the details are meaningless, and so  are the yelling words because they never change behavior ..... there is a gloom covering me that wants to run for the hills, let any willing "good parent" adopt my children and so they can 'live happily ever after' in all the cool kids homes.

Yeah, I have heard it before they are teens, that is the way their brain works (or more correctly doesn't work) the dial is permanent stuck of me-mood until the love of their life enters the seen and get to see maybe a little of other care mode. But boys need to be warned, smart girls look at the way you treat you mom...if you treat her like shit or two year old crappy news....pretty good sign of what they will end up doing shortly after the buzz of the honeymoon comes to the end.

I am tired of putting my body through all this chemical medication and its side effects to still be treated that I don't matter. So what is really the use...I have been on medication for 10 years to try to be the best mother I can possibly be but it is never going to be enough...I an always going to be the oddball cancerous growth this is unwelcome on a personal level.

I am going to go...thanks for listening....


  1. I'm sure I don't have any words that can really help right now. But, I do know how hard it is, I really do. I hope ((((((safe hugs)))))) are okay.

  2. Thank you always for your safe hugs! I receive them.



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