Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Sorrow, Sleepy, Shattered - Dissociation Needing to Ground

I am so sleepy.

I am so sad - sorrow runs like a rapid crashing into rocks, whips past trees, no life is safe in nature's way.

Splintered, shattered, bobbled brain... bouncing, rolling to a thud - STOP.

So close, yet so far away.

You missed it... You should have... You lost out... You would have...

We know what is best. God set it up. We know the mind of God for you. How Tragic!

You were offered what you needed, but you walked away. Fool, frightened little fool. It was there for the taking but you crumbled... you couldn't walk, you couldn't talk.... you wept, you hurt, you froze.

If only you did it our way.... "Have it our way"  Loser! We all gained, you lost! We all embraced, you are left alone.

BUT WHY? God why? If it was You, why did I dare not go. I did not hear You calling... All the warnings blared into my soul.... "it's a trap" "you can't trust them" "they don't live in reality" "they desperately want a happy ending" "They need to use you" "They need to be trusted"

The ledge of love and hate... of believable and unbelievable... fiction and non-fiction .... are only one step away.... getting warmer.... turn.... getting colder. Close your eyes can you tell which way to turn? Do you know what voice to hear. HEAR ME!! TRUST ME!!! SAFE!!! COME!!! ALL IS WELL!!!

But who has been with me all these years? Whose sweet, gentle loving voice has walked me step by step through healing, life and victory? Who has helped me? Who has listened? Who do I know? Who do I trust?

This way is hard, a road less traveled. You will be misunderstood. You will be challenged. You will be questioned and judged and accused.

Who will you believe? Who will you trust? Who will always ground you?

My dear child, here I am, fall into my everlasting arms. Let Me hold you like no other can. I will comfort you. I will restore you. I will tell you when and where to go. I will keep away from what I must. You will have no doubt. My way for you is crystal clear. Never walk into confusion... I would never lead you there.

But Daddy, why do they not see the road? Why can't they see that I am safe? That you hold Me? That all is well?

I am a simple child. I hear My Father's voice and know which way to go. My Father goes before me. He walks behind me. Nothing - not one person, thing, idea - will come to me unless it has first been filtered through His loving hands and given to me by Him.

I Alone know you. I Alone know what you need. I am your Support. I AM your mother and father. I AM your family. I AM your safety. I AM your hope.

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

I know it hurts, to the world you made the wrong decision, but you listened and followed Me. You let me protect you. Walk firmly on the floor, you chose rightly. You are to walk by spirit not by sight... walk in faith of Me.

All the comments fall, rolling down, flushing away. I will shower you. In the name of Jesus and by His blood, no weapon formed against you will prevail, no plan of Satan will be hidden. I shine a bright light into the darkness.

They scream. The light hurts. Don't shine. Too much light shows the cracks, the broken spots, the decay... We want to hide in the darkness, we don't want to shed light on the past. We are living it up, enjoying our present, don't remind us of our past. We cleaned house. We swept it away. Can't you see how happy we are? How at peace we are?

A brick wall is placed around me. Don't you remember, dear child? You prayed for the warrior angels to encircle you. I answered your prayer. You prayed for protection and safety. I answered your prayer. You prayed for my will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. I answered you prayer.

Rest in this: You don't see all that I see. I am working on many levels, in many lives, in many different ways. I see it all! In this you must trust Me! Stop beating yourself up with words echoing about, boomeranging back and forth into all the corners.....

Be still! Turn yourself over to Me. I will reach in and remove what you don't need to hear ever again. I will not leave you with less, I will replace whatever I remove with grace, love, and peace that surpasses all understanding.

I will wipe away your tears. One day soon you will cry no more.

Don't let your eyes dance or dart... keep your mind focused on Me and My goodness. Be Still, and know that I am your God, be still and be filled.

You will arise and walk in confidence, You will walk in My victory, free of all the shackles of your childhood, no hooks were placed in you, no claw reaching able to hold you down.

Don't you see?  You made the choice to be and remain FREE! You chose Me!

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