Shattered Glass Life After Abuse

I haven't posted a vlog in a while because I wanted to show what a Shattered Glass Life of someone who was healing from childhood abuse and trauma authentically looked and felt like. However, I really think this give balance to this site for readers/followers to know that even if you are not bi-polar (manic depressive) you can have sways of really good days when you feel like nothing is wrong. This is so stark in comparison to the days when you can't shake the despair, dread, hopelessness. It is not something you can just wish to stop or pray for God to lift and it mysterious goes away. Now I will state that God is unlimited and can make the "episode" go away. At the same time we must balance the fact that He is not a genie in the sky granting our every wish. He sees at a further distance and a deeper depth what would be good for us, what will be useful to transform us into the image of Christ. So we must learn to praise Him is the storm just as we naturally are inc...

I feel like a screaming yell cutting people up freak - the only person who came to mind was Edward Scissorhand, not that I am at all like him in his artistic delight or compassion for others....no I am a vile, cursing, bitter, yelling wild women that happens to have quickly moving scissors poking out of every part of my body and mind. I just finished doing a video to upload but once again as everything else that is going on in my life today it FAILED! Thanks YouCam...where can I get a program that will work? After calling my husband and telling him the sky and every else if falling down...oh, boy the way, I hope you can have a nice lunch.... I am so frustrated and tired. No matter what I do it doesn't work and in most if not all I am seen by  my lovely teens as the problem to all things.... Where do I start, where do I end? Does it really matter...the details are meaningless, and so  are the yelling words because they never change behavior ..... there is a gloom cove...

I broke apart yesterday and cut the people I love with the sharp edge of my words and attitude. No halo floating over my head. I knew things were heading for a rough day and my dear husband bounced out of bed and started listing all the things he wanted to tackle. Things we needed to take care of together. It is not like I can expect him to have a PhD in psychology. How would he know that he was throwing me over the edge if I didn't even know? Yesterday was the beginning of the month, and the end of my vignette (name for rented booth space) at the little antique store off our downtown square. Another failed adventure. Something I felt God wanted Me to do for I some holy reason that I never quite figured out. My husband thinks it was all a plot to become a hoarder and spend money on crap I didn't. need and nobody else wanted or needed. When I get an idea in my head, I think about all the creative things I could do. I had some really great ideas...the only problem is it is a B...