Shattered Glass Life After Abuse

I feel the tears upon my face, I know what I am feeling is real, in reality. The tears--they comfort me--I am human, I cry. Jesus came to earth as a man; He was human; He cried. Tears Rolling on one's face (tears are falling by sternenkindi on DeviantART) At times when I feel like the world is closing in, like I am not connecting or misconnecting with everyone, especially those dearest to me, little things like tears helps me to know that I am alive. When I see one reality and the world seems to see another; when I feel one reality and others feel another, I began to think maybe something is wrong with me. Why do I sense, feel and see what others do not? Why I am sensitive? So I ask to pray, offer to pray, want to pray with others, but I am told to pray alone. My prayers are not wanted. This hurts. I feel unloved, unwanted, rejected, misunderstood. It is like handing someone a gift and having it shoved back. I love prayers and being prayed for by others. I consid...

The holidays-to many- (the sheer thought of them) brings such marvelous images to mind, memories of years past but also promises of this year to come. The mind is not so kind to those who hurt. Joy Intrudes without a warning. Shut up. Closing In. Sliding. Slowly the walls grind, pressing down and inward. Smaller...the space to live, to exist to breath naturally, yet so-not-normal to the average person with an average working brain, with fibers, cells, the chemical uptake, with a spark, a leap, a jump across the synapse. Of not! Out of rhythm, a mis-fire, a bit of energy is the passing chemical so taken for granted in person who lives day by day above the riff-raf of those with less ability. It is all wrong. What I see is what is not in place. Nothing being where it should be. Discarded, unwanted, not right. A miss is assumed without even a look. Of course, it must be wrong. Out of hundreds, what are the odds that I could ever select 'the one' that could r...

Last night I experienced one of the horrific trapped dreams in my life. I have been sleeping for nine hours. I tried several times to awaken but found that I couldn't - I tried to speak, get my body to move, to sing... I was in a trance that was not by my doing and not mine to control. Somehow I retained enough sense, maybe the Holy Spirit was speaking to me, but in the midst of being caught in this dream ... I remembered that I had committed to fast on Fridays to break any spiritual bonds left in my life so that I could experience the abundant freedom God desires. I fasted last Friday and this past week has been awesome!!! Relationships have blossomed within my home. I am walking on a deeper level with both my teen boys. Doors have opened. I have been at the right place at the right time to have "life" spiritual impact in others life. God has worked through me to speak to people who need to hear a life-giving word. Why do I feel corny stating that we absolutely...