Shattered Glass Life After Abuse

 Stop! Dangerous.... don't read if you hurt.... don't read if you are raw.... don't read if 'cutting words' tear you apart. This is raw... this is ugly, mean, painful...... but a gut honest moment frozen in time. Did you pick up your clothes? I told you to pick up the clothes? Why aren't they folded? Hang them up. Can you watch the kids? Just 4 hours. It is the least you can do. Everyone has to do their part. You forgot to feed the cat? Do you want him to die? I should have never gotten that cat? If he dies, its your fault. I asked you to water the plants, they're bone dry. I paid good money for those plants, water them! Why can't you do the things we ask? Why are you so slow? What is that look? You expect me to do something for you? Always about you? Push Push Push... to get your way, and then you sit on your butt. Your room is a mess. How can you live like this? After all we do, you even have your own room. Stop eating in the living r...

So, this is what life is suppose to be like. Is it good for you? Is it as disappointing as my life. How many times have you wished you would die? Too many to count. I have no real solid answers, no one to help, no one to listen to me that I need help, no medication that will control my outrages. No, I am permanently screwed. One day, I will be able to break free from this cage called life, living in torturous pregatory - now way to be released, no way to be normal, now way to not hurt, disappoint and destroy slash by slash my children and husband. Oh, God, how can this be just. What pleasure and glory could you receive from allowing me to live and birth forward three precious children only to watch me destroy them stab by stab, slash by slash, beating them down into worthless, insecure teens seek freedom and to be anything but like me. I release them, tell the to run, to never look back, to go forward discovering their future and hope accepting that it probably be best that it is apar...