Shattered Glass Life After Abuse

She listens to them Handle the plans. Never asked her thoughts, She gives nothing. Needs are expressed; She is overlooked. What possibly could she do To help others? "Pick me," she longs, Wanting to offer. But dares not-- Too many rejections linger. To God she prays, He could suggest, If He wants. He would speak her name. In sadness she sits, longing to partake. Though she's never noticed, By those who cast the roles. She waits trusting, Her time will come. She will be allowed To be all that she can be. At least, that is the story So often told. To those who wait, His timing is perfect. To Him she clings. Hoping one day soon, Her time will join His And she will be set free. To LIVE, her life, to give-- for Him.

You can choose your dance. How could there be a worse perpetual punishment? You are sentenced for life to spend every holiday from this day forward until you die with your abuser. The hammer thuds, wood hitting wood. Case closed! Next... How does one come to terms with the diabotical extreme of two polar opposite emotions? What could be the happiest of day, sweet memories, the gift of having friends and of knowing peace (this aim we celebrate, plan, await, and imagine) to be swallowed with the pain of abuse, the memory of horrors. The magical moments of innocent pleasure that pours from gratitude of relationships and material surprises entwined with paralyzing fear and anxious triggers of past trauma. A squeal - the delight awakens us to a peek over the horizon of tomorrows knowing somehow they can be spent in love, happiness and peace. But you are given the pill--filled with slivers broken innocence mixed with a hint of arsenic to deaden your memory and emotions. It must ...

Where are you looking? I am so sleepy. I am so sad - sorrow runs like a raid crashing into rocks, whips past trees, no life is safe in nature's way. Splintered, shattered, bobbled brain... bouncing, rolling to a thud - STOP. So close, yet so far away. You missed it... You should have... You lost out... You would have... We know what is best. God set it up. We know the mind of God for you. How Tragic! You were offered what you needed, but you walked away. Fool, frightened little fool. It was there for the taking but you crumbled... you couldn't walk, you couldn't talk.... you wept, you hurt, you froze. If only you did it our way.... "Have it our way"  Loser! We all gained, you lost! We all embraced, you are left along. BUT WHY? God why? If it was You, why did I dare not go. I did not hear You calling... All the warnings blared into my soul.... "it's a trap" "you can't trust them" "they don't live in reality...