I'm scared. I feel like a whole has been ripped right through my gut exposing the deepest secrets of who I am or was and I am really scared. What will become of me? Will they laugh, taunt, kick, throw stones.... Will it hurt? How deep will the pain go... how long will it last...people can be so mean. Will I live to regret me desire to be transparent... my desire to inform... to show what others may never get to peer within to see? Is that way I was set free? Did He know I would tell? Did He need someone to survive to explain what it is to be insane? Nevertheless, it still hurts, deep inside, twisting like spaghetti that will never come unclumped... inedible...stiff, stuck together what should be loosely free... it balls up inside of me. I draw a deep breath and ask for Him to reach in and take this heavy, painful lump away...spiritual surgery by the hand of the Master Physician. I trust. I lie open. I wait. I breathe. I will it away, lifted, takes, dispos...