Shattered Glass Life After Abuse

Were you there? Did you know? Really... its all hearsay unless it comes directly from the one, and even then we have to hope they are not lying to others or even more the usual case, themselves. We all present an image of what we hope people see, of what we want people to know. But in all our nakedness, the uglies are seen and known.... strip any of us down, to our bare bones, what is left... no skin, no hair, no surgery, or material accessories to pretend.... remove the body and what is left? what is there? Wouldn't that be the best? To be able to sit around with others, to be able to really talk and get to know, to share from the soul, to know and be known. Soul to soul. Real to Real. Truth to Truth. And it is there, in the naked, exposed, stripped-down-of-it-all moment that I find myself... and odd as it may be, I am finally comfortable with being seen, with being visible. I am happy to be exposed for who I really am, it brings a peculiar smile of rest to my soul....

Voices? Do you have them? Do you hear them? Is it like a web messed up, growing in your head? Is it your our mind? your conscience? your emotions? your spirit? your will? Or someone... something ... else How do you know? How can it be? What separates imagined from what is real... or reality from what is imagined ... if it is only you who hears it? Did you ever think about that before? No one hears what goes on inside your head? It is a private world.... It can be a place of chaos, torment or delight and adventure. Does everyone have the ability to hear? or is it those - only - who are aware? Awareness... God, are you near, is it you that I sometimes hear? Of course it is. I know your voice. I know Jesus and the Holy Spirit... each speak to me in such a distinct way varying shades of the same hue... one light bend into a rainbow of colors... one moon seen from all over the globe? Do you hear? Did you know? Do you want to hear? Do you want to know? I do. So I li...

My head is spinning. I feel like a ball, bouncing around, bumping into wall of my thoughts, closing in on me. I do not feel I am who I really am. I feel closed up inside. Maybe another is stepping forward. Maybe more than another. Sometimes my mind seems to blow a circuit. Emotional Malfunction. I pause and suck in my upper lip... not sure why... maybe it is to still my thoughts, to order the flow going from my rattled brain into the electro-impulses in my finger tips. I am scared. I am seeing patterns, signs, behaviors... that frighten me. Something is spilling over into my core, taking over. Is it all in my mind? Can a person separate their soul into compartments maintaining control over each.... A soul/heart of a person is the mind, will and emotions.... Can I emote apart from my mind and will? Can I will without my mind and emotions? Can I think separately from my will and emotions? Do they work together as one? And if a soul is splintered, what part ...