Shattered Glass Life After Abuse

I am trying to clean my room today ... the piles on the floor... surrounding my bed. Piles are in other places but today I turned my focus to my bedroom and there I found a problem. I have been doing extremely well lately at accomplishing tasks... beginning, working through them and completing! What a new delight. But today I am tugging through the mud of paper goods. I see bits and pieces of my life... my thoughts like scribbles here and there. My mind is over active. Words keep pouring out and on the pages I find... typed beginnings of books, of articles, of journeys I have been compelled to begin... I notice a pattern of a lot of incompletions. My mind buzzes with new thoughts, ideas, impulses. While I start off running, rapidly getting done or said what I feel at that moment to be monumental, I observe life cuts in and "it" is lost. Darwin went to an island to write. So did John to write Revelation, the final book of the Bible. I have a writer's m...

I want to help others but I can't help myself. I love and know God and trust Him too, but that doesn't stop my brain from being a jumbled mess.  Jumbled thoughts can be pretty! Scattered thoughts keep bombarding me.  I feel like a rattle-head.  I think I wrote once about this before, being a rattle-head . And it was the least-read post...Even I couldn't relate to it much after the episode passed. I have cried out to God for help this morning and for the past two days. I have gone to others for prayer and carefully, with exercising great inner control tried to explain to my family of three teens and my dear husband (I almost didn't want to say dear, oh, how hard it can be on a marriage--to twirl out of control and to not know why or how to make the top stop spinning). I don't know what pushed the top into its first spin.  And that is part of the problem I can't think clearly. I can't remember even simple things.  It is like the f...