Saturday, April 30, 2011

Another Lost Day! (Life after child abuse trauma)

Another one.... another lost day.... they add up so much... so many lost days.

Running on the inside, hurting on the outside.


Words, oh so many words.... healing, clinging, cutting through, knowing, telling me what to do.

And do I do it, or must I wait?

And who can do it, or must I stay?

Running on the outside, hurting on the inside.

No one will see.... how they hurt me... No one will know.... pass by so slow.

And does it really matter? Can it make sense? Is it so important? Looking through a lens.....

Running for a living, hurting cause I'm dying.

no hope, no flight, no chance, no life..... crystal spinning..... little eye lids close....

Is there any hope? Will it really help? Who will reach her know? No one seems to know?

And does it really matter? Does anybody care? A blimp in the universe, with who will she share.....

Can you hear it, getting louder, bellow screaming, shouting sounder? I can't hear a word. I can't see a sound. How can it be? I didn't hit the ground.

Slapped on the left side. Beat on the right side. Shouting all around. Slammed in the covers. Frozen on the water..... solid, floating, down..............

No one heart a sound....

No one felt the pain....



No one noticed til after.... it all stopped ---- the rain.

Spinning on the inside, covered by the thunder, hidden in the rain.

Cutting through the marrow, eating up the lining, what is left of her soul....

Could we have helped her? Was there time to know? What could I have done? If only we had known? There is no place for her.... not for anyone... no place for the dying of what she suffered from.

Did she get the message? Did she her a word? Why didn't He help her? Why could she not be saved.... from the shadow of her tears, from the sorrow of the years, from the crippled pangs within, from the lonely cuts of sin.

We didn't see her bleed....
We didn't know she bled...
We didn't see her wounded.... just laying lazy on her bed....

We didn't know her sorry...
We didn't know how deep...
We didn't understand her.... we tried to met her need....

So sorry, so sad. So little, time she had. So suffering, life in pain. Why did she, not explain? Did we stop to hear? Did she disappear? Why did it, happen now?

What can be done? Is there anything thing? Really we did all? No one we can blame?

So sad, so true, so little, so few knew, so horrible, so sad, tragic endings is all she had. What more could be done?

3 comments:

  1. alot of these words ring true for me my husband does nt see me as hurting he sees me as lazy!for so long i have tried to cover my inside by a smile on th outside.

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  2. Wow, that was profound. I don't even have words. I felt myself in this. Saw myself in this. Well done!

    Blessings,
    Mel
    Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God

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  3. Thank you Mel! Congratulations on your book release.

    ReplyDelete

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