Shattered Glass Life After Abuse

Is this your life? When you are shattered in life, like a crystal vase that has crashed on a hard tile floor, you are splintered into little parts - some sharp as a cutting edge, others blunt and a few chunks that just wouldn't break any smaller. We go about life trying to "be normal" if we can... to fit in, to not draw attention, to not be 'a problem', to wishfully be swept away... But very rarely do the broken pieces in life ever come together... Why? With so many hurting people, so many who have been taken advantage of, who have been abused or used... why do so few find healing. I think it might have to do with what we are willing to endure, what cost we deem too much to pay... and how much we love. Cost and love - an odd duo. Love can't be bought, but it costs more than most of any love newbie would imagine. Sacrifice, selflessness, delayed satisfaction and so many similar lessons must be mastered in transforming ... in becoming capable of lov...

His Blood For Me Bleed the pain... it pours like a heavy rain. And it cuts, feel the pain, it's so sharp. It's the raw edge of pain.When will it end? When will it run dry? Bleed No More..... when will I bleed no more. I know fear, and Fear knows me. I know death, he stares at me. He wanted to take my life, just a child, once upon a time an innocent me... once was... one time... I think, the word "child" was suppose to be, a description of me. No More! It's a lie, it's a lie, it's a lie. I can't die for myself. Stop the cutting, it will never really stop the pain. Each slash is another bar holding my soul in a prison within... going deeper... ever deeper, lost within. The glassy stare, the stone cold face, the numbing way she floats through space. Just a shell of who she could be.  It will never satisfy the gulf - the hollow lifeless agony.  How many others had it stolen away, like me, ripped in anger, punched away? Now be silent, ...

I don't know why I am so drained? Nothing is wrong... no sickness, no big problems (we all have the daily little stuff). It is more of lifeless, empty, (I hate to say this) BORED. Out of my heart flows His Words..... Yeah, yeah, I've said it before, "Bored? I will give you something to be bored about." Many think if you set goals, work, plan, go.... you can avoid it. The truth for my life is I am not purposefully plugged in to doing what God created me to do. I am like an artist without a canvas, a fashion-designer without fabric, a chef without food. But sometimes I do have the supplies: the canvas, the paint, the brushes, the fabric or food... and what I am lacking is a place to be visible. I can paint a hundred canvases but if not one is ever seen - what purpose is my life? I can design closet filled with outfits but if one is never worn - why exert the effort? And I can make the most appealing meals with the finest of ingredients, but if no one ...

hurt, cold, run away She hurt me. She pointed at me and accused me. What? Why? I didn't..... Run... run... run away. Close your mouth... Calm... But I reach out ... slap... and I reach out... slam... and I reach out... stone cold! Why was she angry? I thought she was my friend. I like her. We have always gotten along. What did I say that was so  offensive. She did not smile. She would not talk. She turned not to look back at me. Does she know? Does she care? Or is she simply hurting too much inside to even see the pain caused to another? my pain. I am blind to her pain? "I am sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. We both live in grace." Why is she ignoring me? Rejecting my words.... shunning me...running from me.... I gotta go, gotta get out of here, can't take it, can't believe it, what is her problem, rules are rules, can she not read. Does she have no respect? She is wrong, oh so wrong. irksomely wrong. getta away. run away. stop it. I d...