I will show you how. Follow me.
You will not have to do anything she says. Just make her think she is crazy. Join together. If she says the sky is blue, look at her like you have never heard such a thing. Glance back and forth between each other, don't answer. This will upset her, put her on edge make her doubt her capability.
She caves so quickly. Just a little standing up against her, just a little resistance and you will be on your merry way of doing whatever you like. She will go away... she will get upset, maybe even switch altars... then she will not be speaking rational. She will ramble on... a stream of consciousness of defeat... the voice inside her head will take over. It is so easy to tip her.
Resist. Don't go along. Don't show any emotion. That gets her going worse than if you outspokenly said, "No, I will not." If you did that she would know she was right to correct you, be subtle. Act like you would like to understand but you don't. You are not really sure what she is getting at. You are confused.
Mumble. Oh, that is a great way to make her unstable. It will drive her crazy. She is trying so hard, too hard. She wants to be loved. She wants to be respected. She wants to be a good mother. You can use all of these things as part of your defense against having to work around the house, do school work, pick up a finger.
Sure show her every week or so that you will help out... empty a dishwasher once a month, or make your bed. Get up early one day, and show how responsible you can be. It will blur with her desire to have you please her, to have you pretend you listen, to have her imagine that she is getting through to you and things are going better.
Never respond in anger. Don't look defiant. Put an innocent look on, make her think you are lost at what she is so upset about. That it is her. She is the one that has a problem. It is always her problem.
"The room isn't clean? It is really pretty normal. I don't notice what you are talking about."
Her voice will raise. "WHAT do you mean? Can't you see? Everywhere you look is stuff that is out of place."
"Hmm... its not that bad. It looks like it always does." (make her feel she is exaggerating, like she slipped off her rocker, like it is only dirty from her perspective)
This is about the time she will switch alters or beginning a loony rant. Begin picking up, do one or two things, act as though you are trying to comply. Speak very little. NEVER say you are sorry. NEVER make her think that it is not her fault. Most of all stay solidified against her. No one can splinter off to be sorry, understanding or guilty. She must think she is going crazy. The longer she rants the better, especially if she walks away and locks herself into her room.
At this point you are sure to have victory... you will get sympathy from your dad. He will know she went loony, that she was irrational, that she exaggerated. He will feel sorry for you. He will step up and work more to make up for the slack. He was clean and clean.... and he will not bother you. He will feel you have been through enough.
Isolate her. Don't talk to her. Even if you did she would probably snap back at you... scream something out she will later regret.
Just let her curl up in a ball and go away... let her turn her anger and frustration inward. She will do the rest. You are free to watch TV, enjoy gaming on the computer or anything else you may want to do... She probably wont even come out of her room until the next morning. She is too embarrassed... She knows...
And since she wants a happy home, she wont bring "it" up for a long time. "It" was too painful. "It" beat her up, and made her know once again that she is not well... she tries so hard to be well... she doesn't want to have these kind of episodes. She wants to respond like a normal, confident, responsible adult. It will so hard for her to face herself... for her to know she failed again. This is in your favor... she doesn't have the energy to pull herself together, and come out of her room and kindly ask for your help picking/cleaning the house.
Life is back to normal. Take a deep breath ... it is all over. She will ignore everything. You will have no more confrontation.
Do you see how easy it can be? I know you do... because you have done this over and over and over. You are very experienced. We may have to change up our tactics every so slightly, especially as she gets better ... becomes more stable regularly. But don't fear, you are still in complete control... she will never be a competent parent... she will never be able to make you do anything you don't want to do.
She is so weak. Isn't it pathetic? Frankly it is very embarrassing. She has no self control. She acts so immature. It is OK, you are doing the "best" you can in a pretty bad homelife situation..., aren't you? Of course you are. Hang in there. You can make it. I will help you every step of the way.
You will not have to do anything she says. Just make her think she is crazy. Join together. If she says the sky is blue, look at her like you have never heard such a thing. Glance back and forth between each other, don't answer. This will upset her, put her on edge make her doubt her capability.
 |
| She is so weak and unstable. |
She caves so quickly. Just a little standing up against her, just a little resistance and you will be on your merry way of doing whatever you like. She will go away... she will get upset, maybe even switch altars... then she will not be speaking rational. She will ramble on... a stream of consciousness of defeat... the voice inside her head will take over. It is so easy to tip her.
Resist. Don't go along. Don't show any emotion. That gets her going worse than if you outspokenly said, "No, I will not." If you did that she would know she was right to correct you, be subtle. Act like you would like to understand but you don't. You are not really sure what she is getting at. You are confused.
Mumble. Oh, that is a great way to make her unstable. It will drive her crazy. She is trying so hard, too hard. She wants to be loved. She wants to be respected. She wants to be a good mother. You can use all of these things as part of your defense against having to work around the house, do school work, pick up a finger.
Sure show her every week or so that you will help out... empty a dishwasher once a month, or make your bed. Get up early one day, and show how responsible you can be. It will blur with her desire to have you please her, to have you pretend you listen, to have her imagine that she is getting through to you and things are going better.
Never respond in anger. Don't look defiant. Put an innocent look on, make her think you are lost at what she is so upset about. That it is her. She is the one that has a problem. It is always her problem.
"The room isn't clean? It is really pretty normal. I don't notice what you are talking about."
Her voice will raise. "WHAT do you mean? Can't you see? Everywhere you look is stuff that is out of place."
"Hmm... its not that bad. It looks like it always does." (make her feel she is exaggerating, like she slipped off her rocker, like it is only dirty from her perspective)
This is about the time she will switch alters or beginning a loony rant. Begin picking up, do one or two things, act as though you are trying to comply. Speak very little. NEVER say you are sorry. NEVER make her think that it is not her fault. Most of all stay solidified against her. No one can splinter off to be sorry, understanding or guilty. She must think she is going crazy. The longer she rants the better, especially if she walks away and locks herself into her room.
At this point you are sure to have victory... you will get sympathy from your dad. He will know she went loony, that she was irrational, that she exaggerated. He will feel sorry for you. He will step up and work more to make up for the slack. He was clean and clean.... and he will not bother you. He will feel you have been through enough.
Isolate her. Don't talk to her. Even if you did she would probably snap back at you... scream something out she will later regret.
Just let her curl up in a ball and go away... let her turn her anger and frustration inward. She will do the rest. You are free to watch TV, enjoy gaming on the computer or anything else you may want to do... She probably wont even come out of her room until the next morning. She is too embarrassed... She knows...
And since she wants a happy home, she wont bring "it" up for a long time. "It" was too painful. "It" beat her up, and made her know once again that she is not well... she tries so hard to be well... she doesn't want to have these kind of episodes. She wants to respond like a normal, confident, responsible adult. It will so hard for her to face herself... for her to know she failed again. This is in your favor... she doesn't have the energy to pull herself together, and come out of her room and kindly ask for your help picking/cleaning the house.
Life is back to normal. Take a deep breath ... it is all over. She will ignore everything. You will have no more confrontation.
Do you see how easy it can be? I know you do... because you have done this over and over and over. You are very experienced. We may have to change up our tactics every so slightly, especially as she gets better ... becomes more stable regularly. But don't fear, you are still in complete control... she will never be a competent parent... she will never be able to make you do anything you don't want to do.
She is so weak. Isn't it pathetic? Frankly it is very embarrassing. She has no self control. She acts so immature. It is OK, you are doing the "best" you can in a pretty bad homelife situation..., aren't you? Of course you are. Hang in there. You can make it. I will help you every step of the way.
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